I'm sick of it. How many times have I gone in search of a nice, highly recommended piece of software on the net, only to get caught in an endless round of signup forms? We are beginning to learn the true cost of free software— loss of privacy.

It doesn't matter to me that every one of these sites has a link to their privacy policy. My privacy is gone the moment I have to answer a lot of impertinent questions. Sure I can often check the box that says that I don't want to hear from anybody about this software. But I still have to trust a wide assortment of differing people and policies. And some sites don't make any such promises.

(By the way, this is one of those moments when I really wish I had a digital camera— There was a fantastically cool looking reflection from my closet doorknob that I wanted to share with the world. It is now gone and even if it returns tomorrow, I'm not sure that the magic feeling of seeing that brassy semi-circle of light will still be there.)

And the questions are getting increasingly impertinent! One site was requiring both home and work addresses and phone numbers. I really sure that I'm going to give that information to somebody who needs to have a privacy policy link. Another site insisted that I give a fax number. Right. I don't even have a personal fax number. Ok, I could fake it up with mgetty on my Linux box, but why? This was a piece of software I was downloading. There was no conceivable reason why these people needed my fax number to enable me to test or use their software. They didn't want to fax or email me any registration information.

Sun Microsystems wanted my job title before they would let me download their Y2K scanning program. Why? Is there no one out there running Solaris on their personal machines? Sun would like us to think that Solaris X86 is a viable home desktop system, but I guess that if you are looking for Y2K solutions, you must be doing it for your work.

I'd like to propose a minor revolt against signup forms for free software.

1. If you are downloading a trial or evaluation version or free software and they start asking questions, stop immediately. Add two strikes against the software on your evaluation of that software and consider whether you want to continue.
2. If you decide to continue downloading this software, look at the questions they are asking. Are these questions appropriate to the software itself? Or are they simply a method for gathering advertising information? I.e. are these questions impertinent?
3. Assuming that you haven't given up on the download yet, decide for yourself which questions are pertinent and answer those honestly. For every other required question, LIE.
4. Make your lies obvious to anyone who reads them. Make them commentary on your opinion about impertinent questions. Don't try to deceive, simply give incorrect information which is obvious to any human, but probably acceptable to computerized checking systems.
   First Name: A. Noyed
   Last Name: User
   Address: 123 Forty-Fifth St.
   City: Townville
   State: Denial
   Country: Atlantis
   Title: Gone With the Wind
   Business: Not Ure Bus, Inc.
5. For any optional information simply don't enter anything.

Naturally, these guidelines are for personal downloads. For professional downloads you must consider how your answers affect your company. I'm not saying that there won't be questions that are just as impertinent when you are downloading in a professional capacity. It is just more important to consider the ramifications of your actions when you are acting as a representative of your company.

And you still have to consider those ramifications when you are doing this for personal downloads, too. You have to evaluate the pertinence of the questions using your best common sense. In particular, if you feel that there might be legal ramifications to entering incorrect information in response to any question, then you should obviously consider the question pertinent and answer honestly or refuse to download.

Refusing to download is my prefered advice. Obtaining free software should never make you feel uncomfortable. If the process makes you feel uncomfortable, then consider that to be a cost for the software. In my case, it is almost always far more than I want to pay.